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Quit sabotaging your relationship by dwelling on the small stuff

If you've been in a relationship with someone for a long time, you may start to be annoyed by small things. Things that may never have annoyed you are starting to get on your nerves and you find yourself being irritable with your man.

Small things may start turning into bigger arguments when they don't need to. Follow these steps to help you stop arguing so much with your man.

1. Is It Something New?

If something your man is doing is bothering you, take a moment to think about when he started doing it. Has he always done this or is it something new? If it is something that he has always done, perhaps you need to understand why you are suddenly annoyed with it instead of asking him to change.

2. Is it Important?

Is this annoyance going to make or break your relationship? Everyone has certain habits or qualities that are not entirely endearing. If he always leaves his clothes on the floor, or never puts his shoes in the closet - is that something that will tear your relationship apart? You don't want to bring up every little thing that annoys you, or it will seem to him that you hate everything he does.

3. Can it be Changed?

Before saying something to your man about what is annoying you, be sure it's something that can be changed. If he chews too loudly and it bothers you, you'll just have to deal with it. However, if he is constantly leaving hairs in the sink from shaving and you have to clean it, that can be changed. Ask him nicely to clean the sink when he is finished. It may take a while for him to get into the habit of it, but be patient and don't get mad when he forgets.

4. Plan Before You Speak

Never snap at him right when he does something that annoys you. You may want to, but wait until your mood has changed before you talk to him about it. If you say something right then you're apt to have an angry tone in your voice which will upset him. This will also give you time to consider the above questions. If it's still important an hour later let him know that what he is doing bothers you and offer a solution to the problem.

Comments

Lately, so much stuff has started to bother me that didn’t before… Maybe I need to think about why now. Thanks! :)
Stacey, Boston, Massachusetts
I like that.. “If it's still important an hour later...” Sometimes I lose my temper over small stuff.
Star, Las Vegas, Nevada

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